ugly doll

I am desperately seeking this ugly doll.

I should have given her away when ONE received her two Christmases ago and tossed her on the floor.

My life would be so much easier right now…

But no.

I kept her.

And now I spend my afternoons doing things in 2-minute increments. Glancing back-and-forth between the egg timer, who has Ugly Doll and who is screaming until the 2 minutes are up and it’s her turn again.

I’ve taken Ugly Doll away and refused to give her back for several days. Ugly Doll has even gotten a time-out in the fridge for ruining lunch.

I’m done.

I’ve had enough.

I don’t even care that as soon as I buy another Ugly Doll they’ll both lose interest.

But I can’t even do that.

Because the damn thing is discontinued.

So I reached out on Craigslist.

( CLICK HERE to view the listing. If you can’t access the link, the post is copied below.)

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UGLY DOLL – $5

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Reply to: sale-976894691@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2009-01-01, 9:45PM EST

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Have you seen this ugly face?

Perhaps hidden in the bottom of a toy box or under some stuffed animals in the back of a closet? Maybe out in the garage?

If you’ve got one of these triflin’ dolls in your home, I’m guessing your child is done with it.

Or never liked it to begin with.

I mean, it doesn’t really do anything.

You can’t cuddle it without getting poked by its pointy fingers.

The pilly sleeves barely cover its ¾ stuffed and ¼ plastic arm.

The hard pacifier doesn’t actually go into the doll’s mouth, it just kind of hovers over the lips.

The eyes don’t open or shut at the same time.

It’s just a mess.

A pink, “You & Me” mess.

So you really ought to get rid of it.

Or better yet, sell it.

For five bucks.

To me.

Please.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 976894691

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And now good people, I ask you:

DO YOU HAVE THIS UGLY DOLL? AND WILL YOU SELL HER TO ME FOR $5?