the Mirena diaries

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Cut to: The Mirena

When researching the Mirena, I found that people had severe differences of opinion on this IUD, so I decided to keep a diary of my experiences with it.

>>CLICK HERE FOR THE UPDATED DIARY<<

If you have any questions, comments or rants about this form of birth control PLEASE SOUND OFF! I think it will be most useful. Too late for me, of course, so if it made your vag fall out, please say it as nicely as possible because I don’t know how soon I can get back into the doctors’ office to get mine removed…

After the birth of TWO I meant to get this IUD.

I even made a pros/con list.

PROS:

99.8% effectiveness

1-time insertion

Nothing else for me to do about it for the next 5 years

After a few months the period will be lighter and might disappear altogether

It is effective immediately

It can be removed should one desire another shot at conception

CONS:

Price

Bitch costs $585 if you have to pay out of pocket…which I did. Thank you, United Healthcare. (Who told me over the phone that they “cover birth control” but declined to “specify which ones.”) Luckily they did cover the insertion, which I believe was another $150.

Back in May of ‘08 the CON far outweighed the PROS, so I bailed on the IUD. Three periods later I was accidentally pregnant again, got depressed, then miscarried, and got even more depressed. When I finally came out of my funk, I decided it was time to dig into savings and revist my thoughts on the Mirena.

Here is what the process looked like.

First you have to meet with a doctor, have a pap and get some blood work done. They want to make sure you’re not pregnant or have an untreated STD.

They hand you a pamphlet and discuss whether or not you’re a “good candidate.” (They say that women who’ve had children are “good candidates” as well as “women who are unhappy with other forms of birth control.” To me, that sounds like anyone could be a good candidate, but since I was  clearly both, it’s hard to say.)

I didn’t need this visit, since I’d had it back in May, but they insisted I do it again. I needed to have my blood levels checked anyway, to make sure everything had returned to “normal” after the miscarriage. Can’t argue with that. (I tried anyway. A no go.)

From there the office had me fill out paperwork, then ordered the Mirena and charged it to my credit card. It arrived 3 days later and they held it in the office until I was ready. (I don’t know if all offices work this way, but at mine you have to pay for it upfront and the insurance company – if it wants to – will reimburse you. The receptionist I spoke with said that most insurance carriers won’t cover  it.)

Then you wait until your next period. During which they insert it. I know, gross. Gynos are pretty hardcore. Don’t know how they stare at vags all day and keep a straight face.

I did a little jumping-up-and-down dance in the bathroom last month when my period returned. I had to take TWO with me to the doctor, but found care for ONE. I did NOT want to explain to her what was going on. And after last week’s visit to the dentist, I can only imagine what she would have had to say…

Right before they inserted my most expensive body ornament ever, and seriously, I was already under the paper drape, they said my levels weren’t low enough yet.

My body still thought I was pregnant.

It was a sad moment.

Not because I couldn’t get the IUD, which sucked. But it had been a while since I’d really thought about the baby I’d lost. And it made me pause to think that while my mind already kind of turned the whole thing over, my body hadn’t.

FFWD one month to yesterday.

Levels were down. Body got on board. Time for the insertion.

Naturally I’d given no thought to how it would actually feel to have this thing put in. They told me mild discomfort and like a fool too lazy to do any more research, I believed them.

It’s my own fault, really.

Ohhhh, it hurt.

4:45 PM – I was told three times that I’d “feel a pinch.” What I think she meant was, “feel me use a nail clipper on your uterus.”

4:47 PM – “Oh wait, the IUD didn’t go in.” WTF…keep that to yourself and let’s get a move on.

4:48 PM – She handed me two metal-looking strings with blood on them and asked if I wanted to hold them. I declined. Again, WTF? I didn’t give birth to the bloody strings, so why would I want to hold them?

4:49 PM – She handed me a pad and was on her way. I was definitely too cramped to say much, and had a strange case of jelly-legs, but the shocking pain was gone.

5:30 PM – Home. Cramping dissipated, legs worked properly.

I was extremely exhausted all night, but I think it was due to the stress of TWO shrieking and squirming in her stroller while the whole thing went down.

5:00 AM, the next morning – I feel fine. Some spotting, but that might just be the remains of my period. The cramping, which wasn’t bad at all, is gone. There is no internal soreness. I can’t feel anything.

And of course, now that it’s in I’ll be looking out for the side effects that people have written about in great detail. I probably should have listed some of those under the CONS, but my intense fear of having another child outweighed all of that. (And yes, I know there were many other ways to go about avoiding it.)

So we’ll see…

Got beef with Mirena? Bring it on!

Tags: pregnancy, mirena, birth control, IUD, insertion, gynocologist visits, cramping, bleeding